


She Was Free

by CheyRain



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas and Sam get together, Castiel figured they knew, Coming Out, Dean stutters, MTF Sam, Ne/nir/nem, Nonbinary Cas, Not wrong body, Other, Trans Sam, wrong society
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-06-21
Packaged: 2018-07-16 07:13:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7257730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheyRain/pseuds/CheyRain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Yeah." She could barely get the word out watching him. Waiting for her brother, the man's man, to be disgusted or violent.</p><p>"So I don't have a brother?" God, no, please don't leave me alone.</p><p>"A sister." She whispered, tears beginning to form although she would not let them fall. Winchesters don't cry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

She turned, looking down at her skirt. Her long, lanky legs were made to look softer, more feminine, by the loose ruffles of the skirt. The pale, nearly-white blue a nice complement to her tan skin. Her large, square feet were barefoot for the moment. Her hair was pulled back into a messy french braid. Her shirt was long sleeve, rolled up to her elbows. The color was a sky blue, making her hazel eyes appear a dark blue. She smiled in the mirror, a happy smile, her face currently bare but for foundation. She was debating on how to do her eyeshadow (did she want to even wear eye shadow?). She had already decided on a pale pink lip gloss, more of a tinge than any real difference. It was subtle and she wore it often with no one usually the wiser. Her nails were unpainted except for a clear polish, more to add shine than anything. On her right wrist she wore two loose bracelets, hiding her wide wrists a bit, softening her hands. The door opened and she spun to face it.

"Sammy? What the hell?" Her brother stood there in the open doorway.

"D-Dean, I thought you weren't getting home until tonight!" She was scared.

"I finished questioning early. Sammy, what the hell are you wearing?"

"Dean, I can explain."

"Ok, I'm waiting."

"Um....So, Dean, h-have you ever heard the term transgender?" She was shaking.

"You mean like people born in the wrong body?" He was confused.

"Um, kind of? Like, my body is a woman's body because I am a woman, even though this body is stereotypically male."

"You saying you're a girl?"

"Yeah." She could barely get the word out watching him. Waiting for her brother, the man's man, to be disgusted or violent.

"So I don't have a brother?" God, no, please don't leave me alone.

"A sister." She whispered, tears beginning to form although she would not let them fall. Winchesters don't cry.

"Ok." He paused, overwhelmed. "Ok."

They sat in silence looking at each other for a while. His eyes seemed kept trailing back to her skirt as the air from the air conditioner made it move.

"How long have you had that skirt?" He asked suddenly.

"About a year." She told him, still watching, waiting for a reaction.

He nodded distractedly. "How did you hide it? I didn't notice it in the car?"

"I keep it wrapped up in a tshirt."

"Ok, um." He swallowed. "S-so w-what are your, um, pronouns? That's something people ask, right? Pronouns? I mean I don't know how often things like this happen but, um, it's a good a place as any to start. I mean, you're not a he anymore, right? Heh. Nothing wrong if you still want to be a he and be a woman. I don't know if that happens. But you're probably a she, right? Or some other pronouns? Are there other pronouns, I think there are."

He was uncomfortable, she realized. He was rambling a bit, talking fast. "I'm a she, Dean." She answered, quietly. Her tears had abated in this calm, sort of panicked nonreaction.

"Ok. I might mess that up, but I'll try. Um, so Sammy, um, is it still Sammy?" He asked, looking under his eyelashes at her. He looked like a child, or a puppy, she noticed as she became more amused by him.

"I told you I don't like being called Sammy, Dean. It's Sam." She told him.

"Ok, so short for Samantha instead of Samuel?"

"No, short for Sam."

"Ok." There was a bit of silence.

It was at that time that Castiel appeared in the doorway behind him. She'd forgotten that it was open.

"Dean. Sam." Castiel greeted both of them as he pushed past Dean.

"Oh, hi, Cas." She said faintly, noticing Dean watch Castiel for a reaction, same as she was.

Castiel didn't say anything for a while, just stared at them.

"Was I interrupting something?"

"Not really." Wasn't he going to react?

"Oh. Ok. You both just seemed to be waiting for something." He sat there for another moment before Dean interrupted the silence.

"So, Cas, what do you think of her skirt?" Really, Dean? Although she couldn't be too mad at him after he used her pronoun.

"It is a pretty color?" Castiel's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"You don't care that I'm a girl?" She blurted. He leaned forward.

"Why would I care that you're a girl?" He seemed genuinely confused.

"Wait, so you really don't care that she is now a girl?" Dean asked.

"What do you mean now?" He answered, "Sam has always been a girl." He paused for a second before continuing slowly. "Did you not know that?"

"Um, no." Dean responded, a touch sarcastic.

"Oh. Well, her soul has always been female. I assumed that that would have shined through, letting you know that. I assumed there would be signs you would have seen."

"Wait, what did you think when I called her my brother? When I called her a he?" Dean and Castiel seemed every bit as bewildered as each other.

"I assumed it was a peculiarity of humans or a preference of Sam's."

"I prefer to be called she." She spoke up.

"I understand now and I apologize for referring to you as a he before. I will try to do better in the future." Her shoulders dropped a bit in relaxation.

"Thank you, Cas."

That night she went out to dinner in her skirt and makeup (she eventually decided on natural appearing eyeshadow that just shimmered a bit with thicker eyeliner). She wore her sandals too, open-toed. She was stared at but she dismissed it, far too happy now that she could be herself. Things were better now, even if Dean stumbled over jokes he would have told before. Eventually he became better and it was second nature to him to call her his sister. She was happy. She was free.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I do not think that I mind he/him/his pronouns as they belong to my vessel." He said slowly. "But I don't think of them as mine. Does that make sense?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I looked up some of the pronouns and chose my own pronouns for Cas. Let me know if I made any mistakes with the other pronouns.

"So you really never noticed that other people didn't know I was a girl?" She asked Castiel one evening after Dean had already conked out. She was wearing a light pink blouse this time with long sleeves and a long flowing skirt.

"I thought it was a preference. Angels tend not to notice gender much as we don't have genders ourselves."

"Wait, you don't have a gender?"

"No," he replied. Was he a he?

"What are your pronouns?" She inquired, hoping she hadn't been offending Castiel. Castiel seemed to pause a moment, shocked at her question, before the angel's expression turned to contemplation.

"I do not think that I mind he/him/his pronouns as they belong to my vessel." He said slowly. "But I don't think of them as mine. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, it does, actually. Um, would you like to learn about other pronouns? I know there are gender neutral ones out there."

"I was not previously aware of that. Of course I would like to learn them." She paused for a second thinking about the ones she knew.

"Ok, so there's xe/xem pronouns but I don't know the, um, possessive version, maybe xyr? That sounds right. Um, I know theres ze/hir/hirs, ze/zir/zirs, ve/ver/vis and ey/eir/em. There's also, um, ne/nir/nem. Do any of these sound like yours?" She asked softly, patiently.

"Perhaps. What were the last ones again, ne something?"

"Ne/nir/nem."

"Those ones. Those ones are mine. I am a ne, not a he. That is nir book, not his. She will go with nem, not him. I like it." Ne sounded the pronouns out, sounding more cheerful as ne did so. "I am a ne." Castiel grabbed her and kissed her, chastely.

"Um?" She was shocked at nem.

"My apologies, Sam. I seem to have let my emotions get the best of me." Ne apologized after seeing the shocked look on her face.

"I- It's fine, Cas. I just didn't think angels did that." Ne furrowed nir eyebrows at her.

"Of course angels 'do that'. We have existed long before humans. Just because we have no need to procreate, does not mean we don't enjoy the act." She was surprised to realize she had angered nem.

"I am so sorry, Cas. I didn't think."

"No. Now if you don't mind, I think I'll take my leave."

"Wait, Cas! I am sorry. Please, tell me more about angels?" She pleaded, grabbing nir hand as ne turned to walk through the door. Ne turned to look at her.

"Very well. Some angels are without sexual desire. I am not one of those angels. It offends us if people are presumptuous about our lives and our feelings, much as it offends you if someone were to presume that you were male." Ne lectured, "I am, what humans would call, pansexual. My desires are not limited to gender, or gender expression. I desire you and erroneously believed you desired me as well. I now stand corrected." She hurt nem, she realized. Nir eyes were red, and ne appeared to be holding back tears.

"Oh, Cas." She whispered, putting her hand on his cheek, "I am so so sorry for hurting you. I do desire you, I just thought you didn't feel desire so I just-" Sam sighed, searching for words. "I just didn't think it were possible for you to want me."

"But I do." Ne responded softly, eyes flicking to her lips before meeting her eyes, inches above his.

She leaned down and kissed him softly, languidly. They kissed slowly, nir hands grabbing her hips, pulling her closer as the kiss grew more passionate. After what could have been minutes or hours, they broke apart, breathing heavily.

"We have a lot to talk about before we move on, but I think we can do it." She smiled at nem. Ne grinned back. Later they would tell Dean, who would tease them and taunt them for ages over this, but accept them nonetheless.


End file.
